Tony the Tiger can have his box.
Full of sugar.
I have my own sugar.
Take that, Tony.
Or should I say, Phony the Tiger
Garfield go in a corner and eat your lasagna.
I have a cane.
No I'm not crippled.
There is nothing wrong with my leg.
How dare you say that.
I have a candy cane!
Not to eat with.
No, no.
My plan is much grander than that.

I will use it as a weapon.
See how its so sharp and pointy.
Those who think it is not so sharp and pointy.
Better keep their opinions to themselves.
In other words, keep your mouth shut.
Bow in the presence of the cane.
The great cane.
Held by the great soldier.
Bow in the presence of a being greater than yourself.
Me, **** in Boots.

It goes with my outfit.
Dressed to **** never became more realer.
Than in my case.
Its Christmas Time.
Time for sleighing.
Or slaying, as I would put it.
My cane is worse than my claws.
Santa better go to Pennsylvania to get all the coal
Because he’s going to need it when I’m done.