i feel your strength when i'm in despair
i feel your sadness when you're farther than usual

-- however

when we get together and talk
whether it be
--- over the phone
where the white noise is a little louder than your voice
but i don't mind
--- facetime
your room is usually really dark
i can hardly see you
i can feel you listening
i can feel the lump in my throat as i struggle to get my words out
i glance at you for a second
and you give me your signature look
"you're going to be okay suz, i love you"
your voice replays in the back of my head as i breakdown
tears are blurring my vision
i'm choking, unable to get a hold of myself together
but im not worried

--- i have you
you shower me with the love and attention i long for
have you broken my cycle?
i know one thing is certain

you've saved me
not only from the world but from myself
from my toxic thoughts
from the opinions of others that have broken me in more ways than one
from my own family
who continues to hurt me even when i hear "i love you" every night

i can go on forever
but who has that kinda time?

i love you