As the smoke flowed gracefully through my tongue, for a minute, I don’t want to think about her. As I let out the smoke go and share the weightless absence of her scent in my room, the pang of grief found its way to terminate my lungs and bite the only sign that could metaphysically tell I am here, unmoved but that’s because I restrained myself to while trying to dodge the mirror that shows the eyes of the man she once held closer to her world only to be shattered by the same person who is now in the middle of torturing his lungs to run towards to where she is now. I almost run to where she is now because my mind does, my heart does along with my tears, they run but the flashbacks shoved them hard to the chair, she once occupied while staring at me unhappily And I felt so helpless for the first time when I told her that it’s okay, I want her to be happy. Even if happy means – somewhere else, someone else, not me.