maybe it's because i am not satisfied with who i am maybe it's because i've fallen so from where i use to be maybe it's because i let myself fall in love maybe it's because i learned friendship, and trust, and hope and with learning all these things, there was a consequence a consequence that wasn't mine to serve it's because after knowing what these concepts were, it was impossible but to not notice their absence i am not sad because of my unresolved trauma, i am sad because my coping skills were people and people leave and sadness is present sadness does not pause for you sadness does not let you prepare sadness rips into your chest and makes its home there i'm sad because i'm not my own reason to live i'm sad because i want to stay sad because it's safe because it's the only constant in my life