No doubt exists that I was not The only one who was able to resist For as long as I did And to escape venturing into the web world ... ..with all its problems and benefits I would be remiss If I did miss the opportunity to say that it has been a blessing and a curse But it could definitely be worse So whether I like it or not I've been on the web.... ... for probably 10 years or more without wanting to be....wishing to be ..or needing to be .. and it used to like make me angry I guess as they say nothing ever leaves the web So...yes!
yes it was a Day to Remember while we were playing softball a lot of these 30 year old kids And I was out in left field
I was actually bored And somewhat moored to the spot I had been since ...My ok.. who knows when ...then I heard that crack ...of the bat As it caught a good purchase on the ball and it was suddenly sailing over my head like a congressional junket going to look at a disaster zone . Unfortunately for me and my frozen , somewhat dozin'... knees We were not syronized ...
...,which I only realized after ...just after! Yes I do realize I stepped into the lime!ight to tell the tale But it is my prerogativte to take my time As well! Not all that easy to bare your soul to just let go Standing metophorically naked before the world And talk about that day... when It was not metaphoric
Within 10 measly seconds... ... from hearing that bat crack Seeing the ball go sailing off over my head and starting to run In a race to see who would give in first
Me or my poor knee...which one doesn't matter As I'm pretty sure had one gone...! it was taking the other along As well as me ! With the whole support team that managed Barely at times To keep me upright and steady.
10 measly seconds !
I'm sure the sound of that crack still rang in my ears When I found myself being hurled... ...up and over that 4 foot chain link fence
Well ...almost over.!
10 second from crack to crack
As the twisted little demon Barb's atop this ... ...this monsterous mangeler of blue jeans That allowed me to clear enough at that That final second of that inevetabe conclusion time
As it appears across the mindscreen in full living color You know that tune and I'm sure at least once In every adult person's life Everyone has had to dance to it's tune Sometimes the rosy vision... was the outcome and sometimes ... well hell ...it happens!
So that day my mind was all in " Gonna win ..gonna win ..please !!! But the message apparantly failed to inform my knees Because just as I went to leap -Superman style- over that fence They decided to chuck it and by that I mean they said " oh F* it!
And me ! I come so close to success ...before it all became a life-changing mess I suddenly found I was hanging upside down ,slung across the fence top !ike a wet beach towel across the back of a lawn recliner my hair was touching the ground my *** crack smiled a croeeoked sideways grin at all 40 or 50 people who had come to watch the game
So who could ever find blame For my sudden sense of panic as I tried to extracateate myself Without taking a second to examine my SELF I myself grabbed two ground level hands full of chainlink fence As I stared through it realizing there were kids up there as well And as I tried to pull my other half along with where ever I was going Then finding that around the equator I was being threatened by those twisted barb's
Was..... is the very oppropriate word here because I definitely made it worse
A few seconds of calm and cool reflection would have offered me protection And whats the harm of letting an old friend See a friends naked crack as they would have carefully eased me back onto the infield side
I would have lost a little pride taken all jokes in stride as they would tease and deride
After all what's a friend for if a bare *** can come between But now as I was screaming and bleeding and screaming ****** ****** An exposed bare **** is nothing compared to what!? when it's a schiscabobbed ...uh.. that coming between us
Not that I lay- now or even then - any blame
As I would have done the same Were I not the the one kicking and bleeding and making it worse As I kicked and wiggle and dragged out every lifetime learned curse The little blame I can actually place on them Would be... For not calling 911 a little soonerI think Because people being people And as they always want to tell you the card to play Even when they know the game you play is called soltary Annoy the game a second or two and move on is not a big deal I'd say But as the hesitation time grew long with all the confusion ..panic and pain A crowd grew up to add advice ..okay kinda nice...but a few Just had to examine But i was mortified when without an if you please a few got down and started taking selfies
parametics arrived and came to my defense haha I can laugh about it now but up to that point in my life I thought...
I thought that I had thick skin . You know what mean ! That is ... Until the first time I saw those selfies appearing on FB..then all the crap I got was ...!
Oh I know it's out there somewhere ..lurking in the memory banks of the web or cloud But For a while my discomfort seemed to draw a crowd who had to show me what someone had made and put on the web..all the while dishing out all the usual advice and telling me it really wasnt allowed
But my little buddy had found a neich.... and for about 3 yrs that's where it stayed
I have to admit now... after over ten years since I've seen any activity On the web That the human animal has a weird streak and needs to have their fun But sometimes it was hard to take As they had way too much time and creativity It was when. Some joker added about 8 foot of extention and was was enabeling it to move around on the ground Like a snake ...now that's wrong and that .... arteest was really twisted ...That I began to wonder if It would ever end! .... Oh well! I survived
And all is well in the mortal sense . In the ensuing 13 yrs . I've not heard anyone say anything .. Not in almost 10 years .!.but I have had my fears Because I have kids now Five yrs and eight and like they always say .. Nothing on the web will ever go away ! sooner or later it will raise it's ugl ly he...y! I've always wondered and worried about that day
So 3 yrs ago I got my first computer and smart phone Took a night class after trying to figure it all out on my own And if it's ever gonna come back to haunt me and taunt me or my kids I'll be able to explain or evade or block or have it removed ,but why ?
What I've now seen out there in the wild wild web is.. well my ... ...emergency That's what it was . So.. .that's what I'll say is the truth And that it isn't even applicable
So I have now decided I will not even try to deny The fact ,the existence or the truth ..about that.. or any other thing out there .. In the wild wild web!
Because you see I had to grow into that knowledge... The very fact that you never know
A year ago my wife was killed in a sudden and unexpected way By a blood clot after a four hour flight delay ..that's what they say . A thousand miles away and the weather... the kids. nothing I could do but be a dad Wait for the people who do their jobs working out all the details as I try to gently soften what was going to be bad
A week after the internment I took the suitcase off the bed Wondering if I could sleep in it again or back to the recliner where I had been... instead For pure reasons of distracting I spent some time ..a lot of time unpacking As I put her things away
The dresses I hung with lingering care in that part of the closet where she had claimed dominion
The shoes in the boxes and neatly stacked..... just the way she would have done it
All the assundries I sat back into that overcrowded and complex array on the bathroom vanity
Her cell phone and tablet I simply slipped into the top bureau drawer It was where she tried ( Laughingly ) It was her attempt at keeping it away from our then 5 year old son.
But he and Amelia each had their own fully operational from day one but that honor Came with the promise that they would ask me first and always ask about what they see or hear
So it sat there in her drawer for over two years and would have stayed forever... if
If I had not backed over mine last Saturday morning . I dicided it was important that I'm accessable for the kids And we would have had the same basic apps and ...okay games She used her for work a lot so I knew it would not ...have been All that valuable to me. In ... the way it was and I was not...at all ready for change ...yet!
Then, just about 30 minutes ago when I suddenly pulled into this parking lot and... ....well! I'll just make it real simple ....the first thing that happened after it charged up and I turned it on Was this... It started playing the 4 songs we sang ...tegether at a karioke bar the night before she flew to Maine
And after they finished her sweet .lovely voice started talking to me as if... ... we were in our kitchen or living room! And it was.. ... within the first 10 seconds of hearing her speak I felt my composure crack !
She said .. , I've talked to you Jack every free moment I get when I'm away for all the years we've been together
And filed it in compressed form for you and the kids ..just because . .. ..you never know.. but I want you to know this. I hope that hearing me speak to you it's like I'm there And talking to you Like I do makes it seem like you are always here So... It's in a file you will find that's named ... My forever love . So...yeah! It's a crazy wild wild web world out there... but you know ...sometimes good appears just because .because you never know !!