darling, don't look at me
with those sullen eyes
that makes me realize
all the mistakes
and all the lies that I've done.

all i could see
is a lifeless body
surrounded by
strobing hues
of red and blue.
if only i was happy.
if, only, i, was, happy.

it makes me guilty
that i didn't
have strength to stay.
i should've had
the guts to say
that I do love you,
but i couldn't handle
all that pressure,
all that stress,
and the looming thought
that I am a mess,
and is beyond repair.
so I decided to go away,
and closed the door---
forever.

don't fret,
for this would be
the last time you'll
argue where we'd eat.
the last time you'll
get mad at me
for smoking too much.
the last time you'll cry,
until you die.
but for now,
please,
play this gray serenade
on my grave.