I got involved in a fight at Cradley Heath
Resulted in losing my two front teeth
Then another fight and a loss of my left eye
Got into a argument on the high street at Ross - on-Wye

A bus accident followed and I lost both feet
I was running for a bus at Birmingham New Street
After this it was the time I lost my hair
It happened in Scotland I think it was in Ayr

My next body part to lose was my dear old *****
Caused by a jealous Welsh husband at Caerphilly
I was talking too much in the town of Louth
Yep you've guessed it I lost my lips and mouth

Please don't pity me I still have my heart and brain
Actually that's a lie as today I got hit by a train