Fit into the dress, so they won't like you less, keep your size near zero, that is how it goes. Each day is a chore not knowing if you can do it anymore. Eat, then purge to keep yourself beautiful. Repeat, then feel miserable about yourself. You enjoy the attention, but in private you cannot stand the pain. Wanting to be beautiful shouldn't come at such a high price. So once again you go through the motions, eat, purge then repeat to keep the image of what you think others want to see in you.