i’ve never been an actor
only degrees of myself
the mercury keeps rising
as if it has a mind of itself
it feels like a neo noir movie
dark, grim like a detective
so much I didn’t foresee
so much that’s unexpected

i have a friend, beautiful, caring
we had drinks at a restaurant
she wanted me to meet her friend
what is it that she could really want
i keep wanting to ask her about it
it’s as if my heart is afraid to die
it’s as if i can’t risk one heart beat
if only she knew my eyes don’t lie

which one is worse
being unhappily secure
or sleepless fulfillment
it’s something we all endure
i don’t worry about lunch
or buying someone a ring
i have you in all my prayers
but you only live by the wing

i wonder how one-sided it can be
dreams are only what we remember
if I tell someone then it’s not a dream
it’s just another line from an actor
it's like watching people board a plane
i’m not sure if they know why they’re going
waiting to get there is how they live
but arriving is how you’ll soon be knowing