I don't have an insurance
Because first I've got to have a life
I know, as a small fish, I am nothing,
But easy prey, a bee with no hive.
A simple, fragile, ***** little boy.
The one, that nobody wants to protect,
The one without any meaningful joy,
The one that has only a wasted intellect.
I really hat'to force myself
The childish rebel's pathetic lines,
All the noise of vengeance
Around the pure signal of life.
I loved so many, so bad, blind
I thought of it as an illness...
An uncurable lover's mind
So come, be my witness.
It is whatever you say,
A weakness, madness, stupidity,
But I am more than sure that hell is
Where I go if you let me.
And I know, that I shouldn't cry,
I know that power and strength are out there
Waiting for me as well as
Love, but still I can't care,
Because
All they care for is how much?
All I have is a lack of all,
Inertia and no sense of touch.
Now I am left to the shackles
Of others' painful, split, smart lies
No wonder I'm as good as mad
As a lost and broken, junk
Đevice
I haven't chosen to be depressed, If I saw the light I wouldn't be coosing darkness all the time. But this life I lead, without any real hope or success or genuine feelings, this cynical, sceptical pseudo-smart paranoid **** has to end. And I shall do my best trusting, conversing, working with and if necessary, being cheated again by other humans at least to appear normal. I ******* know. But I only have this. I have nothing more.