Is what I search for
that elusive door to freedom
to escape these demons that came
as a result of war
or do I search for that door
that will let love find me again
and is it a word, a truth, or a question,
or nothing much the reason
that I keep writing riddles and rhymes
and will I learn its essense in time.

Meanwhile the words
keep coming throughout the years
mixed with tears
and with them come recognized fears
but perhaps one day
peace and  love will come back to me
and I will be done
as I wipe the tears away
and arise to see another
day.

So much loss and too much pain
and all I really want
is for it to go away
so I continue my search
for that revolving door as I crawl
through the losses and pain
trying to score that big gain
knowing that change is evident
and I will never be the
same.

Will I ever really know
whether that one happy moment of love
and the joy of breathing
and smelling the fresh air
is worth all of the suffering
and the effort that it implies
and I think of the days
when love was alive but now
I search for that revolving door
to get another breath of fresh air
as the words run through
.my mind.

It may be that I was just
on the wrong path
and that there is a corner that needs
to be turned and it will teach us
that we can still fly
and soar in the heavens above
and show us that we can
still love.

So I spend my time searching
for that one missing part
and perhaps one day
it will come back to me and bring
that missing and quiet piece
and meanwhile my words
are written seeking a beauty
only the moon knows.

So I still look for that door
amongst the darkness of my
own troubled mind
while living in seclusion and trapped
in illusion as I scale the walls of my mind
searching for those things
I can't seem to find.

I will escape from
this awful place but for now
I keep searching for that invisible door
knowing that if life was easy
where would all of the
adventures be?                                                  Jon York                               2012