Is what I search for that elusive door to freedom to escape these demons that came as a result of war or do I search for that door that will let love find me again and is it a word, a truth, or a question, or nothing much the reason that I keep writing riddles and rhymes and will I learn its essense in time.
Meanwhile the words keep coming throughout the years mixed with tears and with them come recognized fears but perhaps one day peace and love will come back to me and I will be done as I wipe the tears away and arise to see another day.
So much loss and too much pain and all I really want is for it to go away so I continue my search for that revolving door as I crawl through the losses and pain trying to score that big gain knowing that change is evident and I will never be the same.
Will I ever really know whether that one happy moment of love and the joy of breathing and smelling the fresh air is worth all of the suffering and the effort that it implies and I think of the days when love was alive but now I search for that revolving door to get another breath of fresh air as the words run through .my mind.
It may be that I was just on the wrong path and that there is a corner that needs to be turned and it will teach us that we can still fly and soar in the heavens above and show us that we can still love.
So I spend my time searching for that one missing part and perhaps one day it will come back to me and bring that missing and quiet piece and meanwhile my words are written seeking a beauty only the moon knows.
So I still look for that door amongst the darkness of my own troubled mind while living in seclusion and trapped in illusion as I scale the walls of my mind searching for those things I can't seem to find.
I will escape from this awful place but for now I keep searching for that invisible door knowing that if life was easy where would all of the adventures be? Jon York 2012