I often long for death
But it never arrives
It looks at me from far
It mocks me from a distance
I sometimes wonder...how did it get to this point?
How did life become so unbearable?
Who is to blame?
Me or the stars?
Was i too laidback....or was i expecting too much?
Did i not give life a fair chance
Or was it the opposite?
I'm not sure if i'll ever fully know the answer or even understand it
And now i don't even want to
So i'll just wait for my time
Maybe it is yet to come
Or maybe it is lurking around the corner
Whenever it comes...it will be quite an experience...
....looking it in the eye..
...perhaps with a bit of curiosity..
...so this what it looks like
...this what it feels like..
...the heart stopping...the organs shutting down..like i'm in a state of trance
My entire life flashing before my eyes
Wished i had used it well...
...and fear... 'coz i'm pretty sure i'm doomed for hell (unless of course a miracle occurs.)