searching for profound clarity

searching, ever so,
looking,
finding,
fruitless...

dazed, crazed, unrelenting.
open,
caring, searching.
nothing...

I open my soul to endless truths,
wanting to know the marrow of your youth,
hanging myself to find clarity,
profound, I know.

I open my soul to lost spirits,
wanting to know the lives they've lived,
drowning myself to find clarity,
profound I know.

hanging, drowning who I am,
drowning, hanging to find a place,
a place in every soul my path may cross,
selling my pieces for a fix a day,
shooting, snorting my life away...

wondering if this will be my dismay,
giving and giving, day by day...