Can you remember when you were but a child? Filled with innocence and happiness, so full of love and hope. Do you remember when everything was full of life and color? When everything was fun and games.

I can't. I can't remember a day in my childhood that was happy. I can't remember a day that wasn't filled with terror and darkness. The only companion I had was my own mind, and even then it tries to hurt me. I can't seem to find any rests.

Lately though, it seems as if my mind has taken a break. It seems as if the darkness has lifted and I'm scared. I'm scared of the light that seeps into my soul. I'm scared of the happiness that ray of sunshine brings to my dark miserable life.

It seems I can't live without it anymore. I used to think that I'd one day break free of my mind, that I could finally be free from the tendrils of darkness wrapped so firmly around me. It is only now I realize how my darkness had saved me. How it protected me from this awful world.

I don't want it to leave. I want it to come back. Where has it gone? My darkness, my guardian, my salvation. My beautiful misery.