Ch. 1 : “Of course I don't like war, but Mexico is asking for it...”
My left knee hurt and I knew that I'd need left-knee surgery when I returned to the palace. Fortunately my mother, who is the queen of England, wasn't home so I hung my ****** on the throne to air out. It was just 2 minutes later when the red phone rang: “Mexico has dropped a couple of nuclear H bombs on Pakistan.”; “*******!” I exclaimed. I immediately contacted central command. “This is the prince of England! I want 70,000 soldiers dispatched to Mexico right now!!!”; “Yes sir!” Said the guy on the other end.

Ch. 2 : Cindy's *** puckered like a strangled duck unused to French bread dough. “Did you order the attack on Mexico?” She asked.
   “Yes I did Cindy. As prince of England I see it as my duty.”
   “I love you,” Cindy said, “more than I love God.”
   “Thanks Cindy, but I'm not God, I'm only the prince of England.”

Ch. 3 : “Royal Duties Beyond the Horizon”
My attack on Mexico saved billions of lives in Pakistan and the king of Pakistan knew it. He called me as soon as he could.
   “Please your royal, highly-worshiped Prince of England,” he began, “accept the gratitude of the people of Pakistan for what you have done to save them from being killed by Mexicans.”
   “You're welcome,” I said. “I was simply doing my job as prince of England. Let's pray that Mexico has learned her lesson.”

Ch. 4 : “Mexico Apologizes”
It didn't take long for el presidente of Mexico to see the error of his ways. In a letter sent to me from the president's house in Mexico City, the president wrote: “Dear Prince of England: I'm so sorry for dropping a couple of  nuclear H bombs on Pakistan the other day. I don't know why I did it. I promise Sir Royal Prince of England that I won't ever do it again. Please forgive me. I am really sorry.
~ Sincerely, the president of Mexico

Ch. 5 : “Apology Accepted”
As the prince of England I know that nobody's perfect, not even the president of Mexico. I accepted his apology on behalf of the people of Pakistan whom the president of Mexico had dropped a couple of  nuclear H bombs on several days before.