as you grow up you search for lilac hearts but grey is all you're able to find
and as you and Disappointment because best friends,
you realize that what used to be important isn't so important at all.
you find that all you can think about is the next time you will be allowed to feel nothing without being questioned.
you're mind is stuck on breathing because you swear to God that if you stop thinking about it you will stop doing it.
you teach yourself to accept self inflicted pain,
with the hope that if you can just "get used to it" it won't hurt so bad the next time someone else decides to ruin you.
birth is a death sentence
and death is the silver lining
and in the end we are all just searching for ways to die a little sooner than we ever should have wanted to.