I know I did this to myself
I know the blood on my knuckles matches the blood on my face
I don't wanna be hurt, so I hurt myself instead, I know,
It doesn't make sense to me either, and so,
I blame the boy in the mirror
and pass judgement on the man in the glass,
I'll blame myself before I blame myself
because only I can do this to myself
I'm a 29 year old catch 22 with a vendetta for a better life
Acting like I can't find the Sun when it's my own clouds
keeping me in the dark, I'm my own nemesis,
I'm playing as Bond and Trevelyan
I broke my own controller
Knifed my own tires on the way to LA
I ask, "Am I cursed?!", but I denied the blessings
I have no one to blame but myself
So I punish myself for blaming myself,
for the foolish things I do to myself
I know you're getting tired of my *******, so am I
So I'm hoping my wings will grow back on their own
I'll rebuild the throne and make it my own, and this time
I won't cover it with my own blood
I won't make excuses for my excuses
I'll pull myself from my own Hell
I'll beat the **** out of myself if I have to, but I won't let you down
Or I'll put myself down
Does that make sense to you?
Me either.
I know you see me as the hero,
It's all I've ever craved,
But did I set the bar too high?
Have I left myself depraved?
Have I just figured out why I cant write out my own story?
Have I killed all my heroes hunting down my demons?
Is this why story book heroes never last long in the real world?