last spring
i was somewhat happy
you kissed me on a street corner after we spent the day drinking coffee and beach combing
then you tried to push my boundaries in your car in a random parking lot
but i wouldn't let you.
then things were okay
and shortly thereafter we put a label on it
then you met my parents.

this time last year
i was waiting for a text that i never received
i was waiting for a call back but the phone never rang
i had never been so hurt before
you planted roots in my heart and my brain, though retrospectively i realize they were superficial at best

it has been over a year since that day
and i still wonder why you ended things in such a cowardly way
was it because i wouldn't let you touch me?
was it because i didn't want to be just friends? or just benefits?

since then
i discovered it takes incredible strength to put myself back together
but just a few simple words to tear my world apart
i let myself be played and taken advantage of because after you, that's what I thought i deserved

last year i lost sight of everything
i lost my love for life