at least i’m in a place now
where i know what is mine,
what i am responsible for.

and i own this,
this thing we are in.

because i decided a
long time ago
that i would rather have
a little of you
than none of you.

and i know
what i allow and
what i can accept,

but i feel a rumbling
about things coming.
an awakening,

where i suddenly
know
what it is that i want.

it is only
my not knowing
myself,

that keeps
this going.

when i can finally see
and know
what it is i want

you will hear the earth
quake and you will know
i am bringing pain.