The men of the defunct Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom are staging an attack! Women and muffin-makers relax! You've nothing to hide. Beneath benches: your baked goods are safe. You're not sticking your *** up someone's **** in my prison-hell! We are Americans! We don't have tattoos devoid of deep philosophical meaning, cultural significance & local color. We won't sport indelible stains that aren't profoundly reflective of our sacred tribal, religious, ethnic & racial patrimonies.