there are days when my body feels
emptier, compared with the springtime
drained of motivation, lumbering legs
are harder to move, an unfamiliar feeling

i keep gently kicking some stuff up in my mind
remind myself i'll be happy later
if i'm more productive now
which is true, and i will be.

i used to kiss the nectar from the neck
of the one who gushed for me

until one day i had to accept,
does she still gush for me?

i worry about not being fun enough
to hang out with. i worry about my weak
memory. an awkward personality.
trying too hard. i do,
i worry about these things.