Gazing into ever after, I see naught, but for disaster
Somehow, being happy only leads to my demise
Trying to heal, I break what’s broken
Fighting not to let the ghosts in
Choking on the words my bleeding heart so ill-advise

My losses and my failures always seem to plague my mind
But I’m trying to hold on for better days
Smiles and laughter
Then disaster, always close behind
Too often I un-sleep the night away

Too many seconds in a day when time stands still
I’ve had my fill
But to un-break my will is something that may never come to be
I’ve fought myself for far too long
I’m losing strength to carry on
Just how long until there’s nothing left of me?

Too many words so sweetly spoken
Hope the smoke I slowly choke on
Even so, not wishing to take back a word of what I’ve bled
Just how do I defend against a night that never ends?
My every fear insisting to be fed

Gazing into ever after, I see naught, but for disaster
Somehow, being happy only leads to my demise
Trying to heal, I break what’s broken
Fighting not to let the ghosts in
Choking on the words my bleeding heart so ill-advise

Some may think it’s not that bad
But too long, it’s been my hell
Where everything I set my heart to fades away
Becoming scarred with my chagrin as sorrow tangles deep within
Each smile I find is never long to stay

In my heart and in my mind there seems no peace that I can find
When every dream that seems come true
Comes crashing through all efforts made
‘Til even beauty can’t console a weary heart that’s never whole
Just a broken-hearted fool out on display

When comes the day when I can say
It’s worth the price my heart has paid?
Has every war I’ve waged against myself been fought in vain?
If happiness will come, I beg it soon
Lest I succumb to the darkness where no trace of me remains

Gazing into ever after, I see naught, but for disaster
Somehow, being happy only leads to my demise
Trying to heal, I break what’s broken
Fighting not to let the ghosts in
Choking on the words my bleeding heart so ill-advise

Am I doomed forever after?
Is there naught but for disaster?
I want so much more from life than merely to survive
Tired of always being torn open
Never whole, but wholly broken
When will come the day my bleeding heart can finally thrive?