sitting at the kitchen table crying, and trying to explain to my mom why i stayed while she told me, with small kaleidoscopes of warped devastation pooling in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, that this is scaring her. because, it sounds like i’m the type of girl who stays, while her husband beats her. the girl she raised. sitting at the kitchen table crying, and realizing that when you ran your hands through my hair as you kissed me, you were twirling my future around your fingers. this is scaring me because you’ll be the guy who carved the hole in my chest that stays i know i will see your fingerprints in all the hands that will come after you.