The truth is,
I can act like I'm okay,
But I'm not.
Sometimes when I smile, I am dying.
Sometimes when I smile, I am actually happy,
Because sometimes I forget,
But then it comes back.
My smile fades.
You come flooding into my head,
And there's nothing I can do to get you out.
There's no alcohol strong enough to wash out your memory,
No drug cancerous enough to **** the thought of you.

You are always there.
Even when I think I'm okay,
Turns out I'm not.

I'm always thinking of you,
And I check less often these days,
But I still feel the urge to.

We never got that dance, you know.
It should have been as sweet as our first kiss,
But we both know
That no matter how hard we try,
We can only be as smooth as crunchy peanut butter.
It's a good thing, in our own way.

I might feel like we fit,
But you might think our pieces are a bit rugged,
That we may never meet and lock into place.

And your voice is still like music to me.
I might not hear it,
But I still remember it.
And every time I know someone else is hearing it,
My heart breaks a little more.

And I know I can never be that person you need,
I can never have that beautiful face that you deserve,
And I might never have that captivating character,
The one that keeps you glued to me.
But, despite all of that,
You are still perfect to me.
And yet you still thought you were never enough.

I still cry.
When you said you loved me,
You built me.
You broke my heart with every kiss,
Every syllable,
Every breath.

You are my amortentia and you don't even know it,

                                                                                                                     Do you?