I want to be a fish
Learn to drive a tank
I want to be a turnip
And become a tiller in a bank
I want to be a lampost
And work down the sewer
I want to be an e mail
Because elephants are getting fewer
I want to be a chicken
So I can cross the road
I want to be the difference
between a frog and a toad
I wanna be a spice girl
And be able to sing
I want to castrate chuck berry
And strangle his ding a ling
I want to be an allotment
I think I've lost the plot
I need to be taken aside
And just humanely shot