I teeter
On the brink of a river,
Tip toed and unbalanced
To reach your lips.

White water waves,
Crash in my chest
Heart unsettling
the calm of the water,
As I reach up to grip my
small hands,
Into the back of your jacket.

Despite this,
You don't throw me off.
My affections for you,
Grew easily
From the calm you provided
With your soft voice
And sturdy figure,
To the craving of attention.

I don't know when the Feelings came to be what they are,
I only noticed
When I caught myself,
Staring half lidded at your smile
My own cheeks taut with a grin.

I didn't know,
That I was lonely.

I suppose
I was used to restless nights,
Insomnia stealing away
My dreams
And twisting them into
Morbid nightmares.
I was accustomed to
Waking up alone,
And afraid.

I didn't expect,
To be held.
I never asked for affection
To carry me across
In my wicker crib on the river,
But I am being cradled
And underneath my
red flushed cheeks,
I'm grateful.

Because despite me
Acting as if I love independence
I am not functional on my own.
And it's hard to admit,
But I am not functional
With most people.
So, it was odd,
When as soon as i started
Talking to you,
I was sleeping by 9pm
And eating full meals,
And smiling through stress.

It was odd,
But not unwelcome.

My feet skim
Against cold water,
And Ive almost drowned
Far too many times,
And yet
I'm not afraid of swimming.

I'm not afraid of falling,
From a rope swing
Into deep amorous gazes
I'm nervous
And hesitant
But oddly, not afraid.

I thought I was afraid.

But now that I'm here,
On the tips of my toes,
No muscle memory at this height,
I'm not afraid
To fall.