I laugh my *** off
just thinking about
ripping a hole
in your fat sweat pants
until I got a hair caught in my throat. (I'm choking.)

   You OK?

well.. I'm having a coughing fit.
(I'm turning all red.)

    Can I help?

I'm drinking a cup of water.    
(running to the kitchen, choking wildly fumbling
through the cabinets, looking for your cups)

    Come back to me, lover.

I'm washing the cup now?