I am holding a gun for the very first time
I am standing straight with my head up high
They promised my mum that I will be back
But only now I know that it was a lie.

He lights up a flare and gives drugs to me
I inhale slowly in hopes to be free
My legs are bleeding, my feet’s are bloodshed
Unbearable pain starting to spread.

There is a night which I will never forget
I was running next to a person who I barely met
My skin, my clothes were soaked and wet
Running under cold raindrops and playing pretend

Pictures and images stood concrete in my eyes
Flashing back at me and making me cry
It took few seconds for this moment to freeze
I remembered my life and the smell of the breeze  
Slipping through fingers, death used its claws
I turned for a second to give him a hand
He extended it further, but  was shot in the gland.

I lost all my mates throughout the fight,
I lost my mentality and I lost my fright.

One second, one shot, life taken away
Constant desires to sit down and pray
Not for my life, but for my mother,
I will try my best to stay alive rather .
Pray not for myself, but for my dad
For them to go through it and not to go mad.

I am living no more, but I am surviving,
I sit down one day and I just start writing
I wrote every feeling, emotion I had
I asked for a flare, inhaled the drug.