The rain it is a-falling hard
It’s coming down in torrents
I’ve never seen such heavy rain
It fills me with abhorrence

If out you step you will get wet
The land is one great puddle
All the roads have disappeared
The cars are all a-muddle

Mums and dads are driven mad
The kids aren’t out a-playin’
It’s a miserable flippin’ summer
When there’s nowt to do but stay in

I ain’t worn shorts but for an hour
I’m in slippers more than sandals
By the time it gets to half past eight
We’re lighting flippin’ candles!

We haven’t seen the sun in weeks
Just dark, foreboding skies
Whoever said the globe is warming
Was telling flippin’ lies!