I am lost
within the trembling threshold
of my life.

Days merging together
voices dragging, dripping
with illusion

I sit there
and listen,

I walk
to and fro,

I eat
and eat and
eat
only to throw it all back up.

I come back to
my bittersweet, lovely
poetry

I read
and read
liking
collecting every word
every tear shaped phrase and longing sigh,

There is
a mass of monsters
their collective voices
drilling
into my head,
tearing at
my chest

Shut up
please,
take back
the excuses

I'm just
trying
to be a good person,

but you all
are making it
so difficult.

Don't
give me what I don't want,
I don't care--
about anything.

Oh my god

I never
asked,
for any of this.

But
this is
what I was given

although
I hate it so much,
there's nothing I can do.