Down that long slow slide
I could not halt
The progression
Born of pain regrets and obsession

Digging in with ****** splintered fingernails
And futile effort
Attempting to slow
By gripping the now
Ripping
Shredz of my fragile ego

Too Proud to scream
Even in this nightmare dream
So in this silence I form an alliance
Hollow promises and Gifts of hopelessness
Adorned with ribbons of scorn
Wrapped up with yesterday's newspaper
That's printed with tomorrow's headlines

As if dismissed
Today does not even exist
And I ..thought
Am I caught
Do I even exist ..as I
... continue the slide
Down into the waiting Abyss
Sliding down and ripping my ego to shreds
Will anyone miss....my memory if
In the moment that is
I don't even exist

Did I....Did I..did I

I could not quell the Manic Panic that grows
In the hollow slide going all wrong
Is that my impending never-ending fate

So that then...when...
Comes that moment of
Clarified acceptance as life
Seen through the murky haze
Of uncontrollable forces

As they become the window panes of revision
And the curtains open
To a  thought suddenly revealed
That what is sealed
Will be what was...

The Catalyst of pain
The gravity of the slide
The Ripping futility of effort
Ripping through the ego releasing true Pride

So to find my own reality my true existence
I push aside the ribbons of scorn Ignoring tomorrow's truth and yesterday's news
Finding my existence by opening the box and looking inside

And suddenly it was as if.....
..... I was born again.