the galumphers book


Every child knows there's monsters
Hiding in the closet and under the bed
But, I have a secret each child should know
And it's about a Galumpher instead....

Galumphers are watchers
They help keep the peace
They help keep the monsters in line

Three eyes watch the closet,
Three on the monster
And three more...did I mention they've nine?

Galumphers aren't dangerous
They live under the bed
They eat socks and the occasional mouse

But, the one thing that's certain
With a Galumpher, well fed
Closet monsters won't stay in your house


If you believe in those monsters
You'll believe in these too
They're as real as the monsters you fear

Just remember Galumphers
Eat the mice and your socks
With Galumphers , the monsters aren't near

I've never seen a Galumpher
But I know they are  real
I know this, because I once was a kid

My dad checked my closet
Before he'd turn out my light
That's where the bad monsters  hid

One night  he told me
Of the Galumphers that watched
With their 5 ears and nine eyes to see

And as my socks went missing
And the mice disappeared
The Galumpher was a new friend to me

Should you meet a Galumpher
Out from under the bed
Just smile and pretend not to see

For he's probably out
To get the dust bunnies off
And to go and have a long ***.

A group of Galumphers
Rarely is found
Say you've seen them and folks say "harrumph"

But just so you know
If you see three or four
A Galumpher group is called a clumph

A Galumpher is quiet
He keeps out of sight
He's protective and knows what to do

They keep children safe
Keeping monsters away
Eating one sock of which you have two

Some might be orange
While others are blue
You don't know what color they'll be

But, they stay in the darkness
There under your bed
So, you don't know what color you'll see

Galumphers aren't scary
They might make you jump
If you see one, it may scare them too

Just smile and nod
And lie down and sleep
Let the Galumpher do what he must do