I think I am abusing this platform for random scribbles and musings instead of actually writing poetry but you know what? This is my page, so might as well do what I want.

Last night I had a very long chat with my platonic partner. He has been my best bro since high school and we know each other more than anyone else -- and no, we are not gonna be romantic.

We talked about our personal lives, love, mistakes, and all of that. I asked him all sorts of things and he told me everything. I related to him my stories and my current situation. What is funny is that after all this time, we both still have a Robin. Do you know what a Robin is?

A Robin is someone you love or have feelings for that you will never truly forget; someone whom you believe will make you the happiest. What I want to stress is a Robin is not real. It is born out of an infatuation, admiration that we perceive as love. A Robin is an idealized version of a partner, not a realistic one. A Robin, ultimately, is just a fantasy.

He talked about still finding his Robin very beautiful and attractive; he also admitted that he does not know his Robin very much. I am, God willing, meeting my Robin in a few days while he is in town. I still think him an interesting, attractive person, but I only understand him so much. I understand that he would have made me happy but I wouldn't have made him happy. I know the kind of person that he is and I know he won't be happy with me -- romantically.

Then, my platonic partner and I talked about feelings. About the "real deal". About how to tell if someone is in love. It is funny because he understands what it means when other people see an attachment without us having to explain anything. Something similar happened to him. When you have feelings, you look at someone differently. For me, though? When I have feelings, I start keeping his name to myself. That is why I still don't always tell my friends about his name; even the ones who already know his name will always find me referring to him with an alias or just "him". I believe in names. Name-dropping someone too much can de-value the relationship, so I want his name to be mine to say, when we are together, when I am half-asleep next to him.

I am incredibly happy. We are still learning to keep up with each other's pace and to adjust with each other's character. But you know what? It's fine. It totally is. All I want is to sing him a lullaby and fall asleep in his arms.