I used to be that little girl with the colorful dress,
I used to write on walls and make a rainbow.
I used to be the girl where you run to when some kid takes your sandwich.
I used to be the little girl who has  crooked teeth but never failed to smile and be happy every day.

Everything was perfect until the firsts.
First love, heartbreak, hurt, fail, numbness.

Everything fell apart.
Broke down to pieces.

Then I learned how to not care.

then everything seems to blur.

I never played with crayons now.
I play with knives and blades through my skin.

I never wore necklaces.
But, a tight rope I once tried on.

I never liked alcohol on my wounds,
now, I shower myself with liquor and *****.

Everything was a mess.

My life was full of hatred and love of the thought of death.

But when he smiled. It ended.