My heart drops,
My mind cloudens,
I cannot think.

I am overcome,
Like instincts to an animal,
I envy.

Small things look big,
My judgment is biased,
I am losing control.

I keep fighting to keep myself on top of things,
Controlling and having things to my plan,
I have forgotten,
that life cannot be controlled.

I must do my best,
but there is no guarantee.

How do I fight Envy?
For Envy is part of me.

How do I fight Envy?
If Envy is caused by my two best friends?

If I fight, I lose.
If I surrender, I lose.

Should I continue to try and control?
Or must let Life sort things out?
Oh Envy, I curse you.