I've been gnawing off my nails
faster than I learned to chew as a child..

I don't bleed as heavily as I used to,
thick callus has replaced the skin
that's been opened time and time again

after each lashing of your tongue
I was stronger than before.

I choke on the word victim
like strong alcohol spit it up in the bathroom sink
and set aflame like a molotov cocktail; it feels like war in my chest.  

I picture her as something unknown to most;
something you run from in nightmares.

In the open, she was nothing to fear,
harmless in front of the eyes of another:
behind closed doors she was a titlewave and

I was always facing the wrong direction..
not a surprise, but I was never expecting.