I wished,
With bitterness,
I had not said yes
The relationship was toxic,
it was my poison
I thought the fantasy of us was amazing, but void
I wished I had told you when you asked..
No,
When you forced me to be engaged to you,
To **** your **** self **
Should have sent all of that out the door
I cared when I shouldn't
I knew I never loved you, knew I never could love you
I felt I had to fake it
There is one thing I will never understand though
Why did I try to save you?
I knew you were lightyears away
Why didn't I recognize the symptoms right away?
For months I was sick from consuming too much of that *******
I was telling myself something before I arrived out of the hospital
I was telling myself it should be done
But all I was doing was playing along with *******