I find myself forgetting more and more frequently that the world I have painted on the walls of my cell is not reality
Death is a boy to me An ageless boy with brown, curly hair and golden skin He is an egotistical trickster, three steps ahead of me Cruel, unfair, unfeeling And for some reason, intrigued by me and the messy Life I breathe
In my head, I can make deals with him In my head, he protects me, gives me choices, even as he pulls me closer In my head, he is beatable In my head, Death and I are falling in Love
But though it makes Death bearable to think of, to believe it has characteristics it cannot is dangerous
Death loves me no more than it loves all of us An embrace at the end of agony It will not speak to me, it will not listen It owns my Life and there is no deal I can make to change that
Yet
There is something beautiful about the boy in my head Death a life of its own A vision I can't escape The walls around me painted the endless black of the stars