Tesco's jammed
Asda's rammed
Sainsbury's dropping
like ham off the bone

I'm heading home to the market town
getting down with the real stuff.

I hope the still's still there and breathing steam
into the cold night air
well
you've got to have a tipple or two, you..
(..they should have put that in Oliver)

Just gonna put a face on, look
a bit like Fortnum and Mason,
posh like.

If you're waiting for the reindeer
they're quite near and
just coming over the midnight sky,
Santa's a bit shy so you might not
espy him.

I'm leaving him a brandy, some socks
a mince pie and my electricity bill
what will
you leave Santa?
empty wrappings?
Crimbo trappings?

forgotten the rest.