The vibration of Chicago is very high
I find my head swirling and hurting all too often
So I allowed myself halfway through today
To just say
Maybe today is your day, mama.

I don't feel like I really have many true friendships here
Its work and nothing but work
I am happy
And then sometimes I am very much not
And the idea that it will take years
For me to settle in the way I did Philadelphia
Creates a wearisome feeling in my chest.

Everything is very far
And not incredibly safe
I love living alone
But I'm not quite comfortable
Yet in my own nest
I prefer to have my man around
To keep nestled in and safe
But he too, suffers from the cut throat
Stressful vibration
And in the midst of all that tension
I'll think
We aren't LA. We aren't NYC
The extension out to the rest of the world is higher
Than Philadelphia and most cities
But my God
Its not that big a deal
You just aren't THAT big a deal Chicago
And I'm sure I will outgrow you at some point too.

So today is just a day
Of feeling like everything is locked in place
Do I matter?
Does my work matter?
Do you matter?
Is this ever going to ******* go anywhere?

I don't know
Today I just have no answers
And thats okay.