I have the mumps and itchy lumps,
my tummy's awful sore.
I have a cough, my arm's fell off,
my throat is red and raw.

I have big spots and polka dots,
flashing before my eyes.
My legs are broke, no it's no joke,
as if I would tell lies.

I've got the flu, Atchoo Atchoo,
I'll just miss school today.
Of course I'm sick, no it's no trick,
oh what a thing to say.

I've got the shakes and my head aches,
it hurts so very bad.
And what a bind, I've gone night blind,
why are you laughing Dad?

I almost forgot about tooth rot,
and frostbite of the toes.
I feel unwell, I cannot smell,
because of my blocked nose.

I'm far too ill to take a pill,
for they just makes me gag.
I feel so sick, please Daddy quick,
pass me the paper bag.

No need to phone Dr.SawBone,
he is a busy man.
I need no shots or creams for spots,
just soda and a fan.

My speech is slurred, my vision blurred,
oh mummy I should rest.
Now that's not fair, as if I'd dare,
to dodge my English test.

You're not impressed, I should get dressed,
and stop this sad charade.
My Dads no fool, he phoned the school,
and said I'd overlaid.