I wish I had the guts to speak what I had kept suppressed within me.
I wish I could tell the world that not everything in my life is as good as it seems.
But all I really do is keep silent and smile.
Bottling up the burden of emotions that I carry in my mind
I can taste the tears that are burning in my eyes,
I can feel the urge to let them drip down and cry,
I can sense the inevitable depression that is about to overcome my being.
I can feel the need to let out a scream.
I can hear the conflicting thoughts in my mind.
Contemplating the idea to suffer or commit a crime.
These thoughts turn into a whirlpool of rage.
As I pick up the lethal addiction that I had avoided for decades
The blade is still shiny as it was before
The reopening of old wounds never made me feel so sure.
The sharp edge scrapes the old scar that adorned my wrist
The blood flows out and provides an instant hit.
My mind floats in oblivion as I lose control
Slipping from the reality that I no longer wish to hold.