So take a deep breath
the wave is hitting
it's a new beginning.
I've fallen so far
that falling stars are nothing
but dust tossing in the air
just praying on prayers to save the day.
Blink, because my heart is still there;
the air I breathe are still memories of them
like how often I found myself lost on thoughts
nothing to break away from all that I've felt.
The mistakes costed relationships like an iceberg,
as fights burst, trying to survive the titanic.
A didactic tone to reassure my mental state
that this rental hate is just driven away
by her smile, her warm personality and her presence.
The essence of her ability and her personality...
I watch the waves crash against the shore
skies tumble and fall as thoughts of her emerged,
perverse the course of how things were meant to be.
I dare not watch her say goodbye, nor choose life without
but clouded doubt still seeps between the crevice of my brain,
afraid that the same mistake occur like two doves in one stone
leads to a dove-less world.

I'm afraid of speaking my mind,
blind to how my lips must move
or do I choose to motion words
that hurt not only me but others.

I'm afraid of speaking my mind,
the silence binds my lips sealed tight
and at night I hear the echoes of wind
win a one sided fight against the trees,
the bees and the birds missing in flight
as a lamp-light overcasts a broken shadow
of a man hugging himself in tears.

I hate to confess it
but my honest guess
is that man is lost....
because that man is me.

I'm a monster and I shall be slain like one
so as lights gone, please someone swing
a ring that weds me to the eternal end,
pretend that I am nor human nor soul
just a hole filled with nothing but decay
and mistakes left to rot...

But don't slay me, for I have so much to see
so much green left in nature and life,
a light almost vanishing yet clinging on
so swing along with the flick of a switch
that enriches the darker colours with light.
For tonight, I love and hate myself.
So help...switch on or off the light,
for I dare not ask...

who am I ?? A star or a monster??