Things are different now
I think as I remember that black faux leather dress
The one that got away with the woman
I did not know until I set foot in her house
I as per usual,
Pull back branches glancing
At what it looked like then and that
I become so heated
Sipping a ****** mary
Discussing the negative friendship
Of a friend
And its so strange
The way the words come from my lips
Much like a break up
Eve said to me
I don't think it will ever be fruitful
To pick up a pen
Try to create again
With a wooden stool
It was  much, much
Like a break up.

At times
I'll think angry poetry in my head
Or just poetry at all times
I wish I could jot it all away
But I let the phrases echo and stream right through
I really need to start writing again
More and more often.

Space back to myself
Lets wear white tomorrow
I leave town in two days time
I can't wait
For trees
For sunshine
For the quiet sweet murmur
My voice will take on
As I coach myself on along.

Everything is different now
A tender bear of a man
Welcomes me with open arms
Girlfriends here my age or younger  ask questions
But I know they cannot fully appreciate
Comprehend
That love
It can be long lasting.

I don't need
To make proclamations
Because I just know.

I admitted
To Eve
The Eve that stole the apple from the tree
After the serpent whispered
Go on along girl
And say in short circuited voices over the phone
The world really hates women
Its not as strong here, that bond
But last night I felt the most untampered elation
That I think I've ever felt.

I'm often disappointed
With the immense self involvement around me
And I've seen how its adapted, altered design
But I think of the ***** snow
And we would hustle and grow
Because we just had to
I just had to.

A switching of trees
As if jumping from a coop
To the nest
I wonder if my own paranoia
Creates memorabilia
Of the presence, the past
Sometimes I wish I encountered less
As to soften the disappointment
For my hatchet covered in guided flowering friendships
But then a chrysalis intertwining it, let it go sweet girl
I remember I went on a date with a beautiful man
Before I left Philly town
And he asked me if I thought I was a spoiled millennial
Sometimes people are just selfish ******* *****.

It is difficult for me to relate emotionally
To those lacking empathy
And the desire to listen.

A sense of belonging
A sense of rising into place
Laughter, giddiness, discussion of love for work
It surrounded me
So yes, it hurt
When a group of girlfriends complained
About their intense hatred for commercials
When I seek to stone by stone
Perhaps
Change the nation
But I want to live so fruitfully
Quiet glamour and honesty
Live a passionate love filled life
Covered in not what's right
But what is good
Good for the soul, humanity
And it will make me think of the bar entitled Green Eyes
And the dates I went on
Or how I got too skinny
Because I was so sad
Where I walked away having gotten the energy
I am sure I was exhibiting
And I feel and take hits very intensely
I was
In my red coat
And I'll be in it once again

But everything has changed.
I would gaze up at the moon
I'll gaze up again
Brave. Thats a word I often hear

Its time for bed.