if I could trade places with him I would.
if I had to give him up forever;
never see his face
or hear his voice
just to have him back in this world -
I could do it.
stab me through the chest and give my heart to him
let the beat run through his body and bring him back to life.
I will stand cut wide open and barely feel a thing
because just the knowledge that he is back
is better than any drug that he has ever done.
and I will give up my life,
dedicate it to him;
spend forever making sure he never feels anymore pain -
make sure he knows his worth.
I will carve his name into my skin and my soul;
let everyone know that I am his
and his alone.
living without him is not an option,
I will give him my last breath if that is what it takes.
Dear God,
give me one more day with him,
one more hour to say goodbye -
let me fill up his heart with love
so he can rest knowing how much he will be missed in this world
or let me go with him
and feel the everlasting fires in hell
or the peace of heaven
just let me never have to say goodbye to the one who gives me life.
I didn’t know a world with him in it
and now I cannot see one without.
in a place filled with darkness he gave me light,
a deluminator whose switch was crafted to turn on with words of love and understanding,
turn off by loneliness and desperation.
that white picket fence, it drove him insane;
wanted to get married at sixteen to a wild child who just wanted to fly
I didn’t know where I was going
or where I would end up
but I wanted him there when i got there
and I didn’t know how to convey that,
broke his spirit and his heart,
he went mad with his need for a family and my resistance to comply,
so young and in love
yet so confused we spun a fairytale into a nightmare
and turned our dreams into dust.