Right now,
It feels as if
I've thrown myself
Into a TV of flipping channels,
The static pixels
Are dripping down my back,
And stinging my eyes.
Nothing makes sense anymore.

You've cut people out
Of your life,
Like meticulously crafted
Paper snowflakes,
And I feel myself folding
To be cut next.

My life is vibrating in my scull,
I'm fumbling with the images,
And I don't feel like I'm touching
Anything,
Especially not you.

I'd like to rip a part
Every
Single
Day,
And make a collage,
With the yellows and greys,
The kisses down my neck,
And play all our mean words
On vinyl
As I glue it all together.

I can't reach you,
Not through your brain,
An underachiever like myself,
Can't bust into there,
And I'm scratching
At the glass coating on your heart,
But I don't want to break it.

I've stopped reminding myself
Why I do
What I do,
Why I don't fight you anymore.
I've let myself crash into
A kaleidoscope
Of colors,
And start drowning
A sea of coursing
TV static
Channels.
Because it's easier
Than losing you.

But I hush my thoughts now,
Because it may all be
My crazy anxiety
Ripping up my brain,
Again.