“Disaster Dan” skids into the Center's Game Room War Room Control Room
Fueled by a red T-shirt proclaiming “Vince the Pizza Prince” He flips out his cellular...
“IT ISN'T UP TO ME!" (Where does he get all those broken remotes?) ...flips open his cell and shouts commands
“TURN THE POWER ON!"
“YA HEARD ME!" (He is totally in control)
“Fsssss Fssssss Fsssssss THE PIPES ARE ABOUT TO BLOW!”
Drives his cruiser around the pool table Pulls alongside Fixes me point-blank and cockeyed
“GET THESE KIDS OUTA THE BUILDING! THERE'S A BOMB ABOUT TA GO OFF!”
An eight-year-old spins iz finger round iz ear and points a giggle
Dan-- the kind of guy whose life peaked at Mount Saint Helen Does a warlock for Halloween Carries a portable showcase of horror prized possessions in a dishpan He explains his treasures
“That is NOT a plastic scorpion!”
Offended by my ignorance shoves it in my eyes
“THIS IS A PREDATOR ALIEN, STUPID!" “CALIFORNIA WILL NOT COME BACK!"
Dan sorta likes me We talk horror flicks He forbids the serious of me
"CALIFORNIA WILL FALL OFF INTO THE OCEAN!” he hisses in a spray of spit Walks way, laughing, delighted! Shaking iz head
Then back in my face again (for emphasis)
“DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" (He is dead serious) "THE GUY THAT CAUSED THAT HURRICANE WAS PAUL MCCARTNEY!"
His counselor fills in my blank “Dan likes the Beatles That's the only thing he likes that isn't heinous”
I worked for a year and a half at a Boys and Girls Club. Twice a week some local group homes would bring their residents in for some fun. Believe me, "Disaster Dan" was a real guy.
This was a few years ago when most cells were flip phones. For readers not from America, Mount Saint Helen is one of our most deadly and active volcanoes. Erupted during the '80s.