Fighting to get away from sleep,
suffocating,
I woke up.
Not quite together-
my mind wasn't sure what it was doing,
Only half aware of the blade that traced your initials on my wrists.

I stumbled
and roamed the house
staining the carpets with blood
eventually collapsing at the foot
of my parents bed, falling asleep once again.
When my Mother found me
she was scared and confused.

This dream was different to the re-occuring dream
i usually have.
Instead of watching the usual dream
of you taking your own life;
instead of seeing your face,
one i had known and loved my whole life,
morph into an unfamiliar being...
I had murdered you.