Failure to communicate


I think about all the lonely people and think that life begins at first
You might be one of those lonely people with a sensitive heart trying to avoid all trouble because you know it ******* hurts
When you're one of those lonely people no one wants to know what your problems are worth
As a child I stood cold and lonely watching children playing and laughing but I didn't know them at all which made it worse
I sat in classes ignored by teachers so I'd look out of the windows were the sun warms me then as the sun beamed in I would just let my eyes slowly close and purse
This carried on through out my teenage years just looking and dreaming and sighing and fleeting something to avert what was work in an old dusty joiners shop with faces all disturbed by my presence I was cursed
My hands didn't do what my mind was thinking and when I was thinking I wasn't thinking of what I was supposed to so one Christmas I left with mutual consent versed
I joined the armed forces aged 18 years and begun to realise that there are lonely people and I fitted the army purpose
I was on a driving range and my head was full of what ifs and relieved my semi automatic weapon to my corporal and stood at the end of the line that silence was like a light bulb had burst
A few weeks later I dis-charged myself after taking an overdose of paracetamol that I had procured from a nurse
I was in self destruct mode and everything I tried taking or doing just made my mind feel much deeper depression thoughts grew into nightmares of misery from anarchistic mirth
I lost love for this country and I lost love for the earth.